lies
i just lied to a friend.
why? i have no clue.
was it about some classified government information? no it wasn't.
was it like some top-secret personal stuff that needed to be kept locked at all cost? no it wasn't.
so basically you were just being an idiot? yes i was.
is this a good friend, or just an acquaintance friend? 6 years so far. atleast a life to go.
do you feel bad? to say that i feel bad is an understatement.
do you hide a lot of things from people around you? yes i do.
i hope you know that 'hiding' is not the same as 'lying'? the distinction is subtle to me.
do you not trust this friend of yours with your (non)secrets? i totally do.
then why the hell did you lie to him? again, i really don't know.
that's not a good enough reply - mention one reason. umm . . . because i've trained myself to be cynical.
are you stupid? i guess i am.
do you still feel bad? very bad.
but cynics don't feel bad. then why are you? because i don't like being a cynic anymore.
then why don't you stop? it's not that easy to change a habit that i have ingrained into my blood.
what made you cynical in the first place? not a good question right now.
alright, do you expect him to tell you the truth about things you ask him? yes i do.
you're just a shameless hypocrite, aren't you? [face to the ground]
atleast now, did you tell him that you lied? yes i did.
how? i sent him an email.
didn't have the courage to tell him face to face? nope.
did he find out about it *before* you confessed? i don't know. i don't want to know. i hope he didn't. but then it serves me right if he did.
do you feel somewhat good that you have confessed? a little bit.
good. i'm sure he would forgive you this once. so you're not gonna repeat this behavior, right? the pathetic part is that i can't guarantee that.
what the #$*!^@#$ - are you bloody kidding me? [face to the ground]
oh my god!! something's seriously wrong with you!! i realize that.
god, you're a creep. get out of here!!
--------------------
sorry dude. i don't know what else to say.
posted by -w at 01:24
5 Comments:
6 years and a 'him'. hmm..anyone I know?
Anyway, the Q&A list was too good.
more like a psychiatrist's questions. well framed. :)
More than mailing him, confessing it in public - a pat on the back for this.
nice dialogue, funny even.
all i can think of saying is ... fighting all your demons will take time. it will take time. (Quote: Angels or Devils, Dishwalla (Opaline, 2002))
so busy with the wedding plans that you've no time to blog, huh?
more like "so run out of topics that there's nothing to blog about" :)
but that's only temporary - the tide will turn . . . . . soon enough!!
Nice Idea. I guess you had many occasions to talk to yourself this way...I know what this is all about ;-).
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