lies

i just lied to a friend.

why? i have no clue.

was it about some classified government information? no it wasn't.

was it like some top-secret personal stuff that needed to be kept locked at all cost? no it wasn't.

so basically you were just being an idiot? yes i was.

is this a good friend, or just an acquaintance friend? 6 years so far. atleast a life to go.

do you feel bad? to say that i feel bad is an understatement.

do you hide a lot of things from people around you? yes i do.

i hope you know that 'hiding' is not the same as 'lying'? the distinction is subtle to me.

do you not trust this friend of yours with your (non)secrets? i totally do.

then why the hell did you lie to him? again, i really don't know.

that's not a good enough reply - mention one reason. umm . . . because i've trained myself to be cynical.

are you stupid? i guess i am.

do you still feel bad? very bad.

but cynics don't feel bad. then why are you? because i don't like being a cynic anymore.

then why don't you stop? it's not that easy to change a habit that i have ingrained into my blood.

what made you cynical in the first place? not a good question right now.

alright, do you expect him to tell you the truth about things you ask him? yes i do.

you're just a shameless hypocrite, aren't you? [face to the ground]

atleast now, did you tell him that you lied? yes i did.

how? i sent him an email.

didn't have the courage to tell him face to face? nope.

did he find out about it *before* you confessed? i don't know. i don't want to know. i hope he didn't. but then it serves me right if he did.

do you feel somewhat good that you have confessed? a little bit.

good. i'm sure he would forgive you this once. so you're not gonna repeat this behavior, right? the pathetic part is that i can't guarantee that.

what the #$*!^@#$ - are you bloody kidding me? [face to the ground]

oh my god!! something's seriously wrong with you!! i realize that.

god, you're a creep. get out of here!!

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sorry dude. i don't know what else to say.